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COOL... CALM..... CONFIDENT.....

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Disciples of Christ

Matthew 10:1-42
And when he had called unto him his twelve disciples, he gave them power against unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all manner of sickness and all manner of disease. Now the names of the twelve apostles are these; The first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother; Philip, and Bartholomew; Thomas, and Matthew the publican; James the son of Alphaeus, and Lebbaeus, whose surname was Thaddaeus; Simon the Canaanite, and Judas Iscariot, who also betrayed him.

These twelve Jesus sent forth, and commanded them, saying, Go not into the way of the Gentiles, and into any city of the Samaritans enter ye not: But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. And as ye go, preach, saying, The kingdom of heaven is at hand. Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give. Provide neither gold, nor silver, nor brass in your purses, Nor scrip for your journey, neither two coats, neither shoes, nor yet staves: for the workman is worthy of his meat. And into whatsoever city or town ye shall enter, enquire who in it is worthy; and there abide till ye go thence. And when ye come into an house, salute it. And if the house be worthy, let your peace come upon it: but if it be not worthy, let your peace return to you. And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet. Verily I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrha in the day of judgment, than for that city.

Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. But beware of men: for they will deliver you up to the councils, and they will scourge you in their synagogues; And ye shall be brought before governors and kings for my sake, for a testimony against them and the Gentiles. But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak. For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you. And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death. And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved. But when they persecute you in this city, flee ye into another: for verily I say unto you, Ye shall not have gone over the cities of Israel, till the Son of man be come. The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his lord. It is enough for the disciple that he be as his master, and the servant as his lord. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more shall they call them of his household? Fear them not therefore: for there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known. What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in light: and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye upon the housetops. And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows. Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.

Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me. He that receiveth a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet's reward; and he that receiveth a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man's reward. And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward.
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sooo confused, feel very unfair and can do nothing here... what should i do... man... it very hurts if u get banned because of uncertain reason, even that the reason is a fact, it is true. but if u dun realized it and u dun understand it how can u make changes, how can u improve and repent, coz u dun know what u have done is a problem to someone else....

i'm so sad heard my friend crying on the phone. she keep asking what is her mistakes, what she has done that she is not allowed to do her ministries anymore... its so unfair to her....

but even i agree with all the facts that "they" give to me about her, still i'm asking are there no other ways to solve this problem?! do "you" have to do this?! really?????!!!!!!

Thursday, January 27, 2005

MY FEAR..... [Matthew 7:15-29; 8:1-34]

Matthew 7:21-23
Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Matthew 7:26-27
And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:
And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.
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these verse really make me scared... will i become one of them who always makes Him mad and sad..... i even don't do anything right in my life.... good most often, but right?! i dun think soo only someone else dan Him only can see the real me. i'm totally blind. can not see real inside my self. i know one thing that i am nothing before Him, just like a dust. nothing... nothing ....

i just wondering. r there still hope for me to rise-up again and server Him with all my heart....
i'm soo frightened... what if He don't want to see me again, don't want to forgive me... after what i have done to Him.... ....... >>>>

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

GOLDEN RULE....

Matthew 6:25-34, 7:1-14
"Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you. Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."

Thursday, January 20, 2005

JAKARTA FLOODED - NFSU2

This last 3 days... jakarta flooded... huahahaha.. just like few years ago.. but much better lah.. well one thing to thank to God that my home are safe from this flood.... thank you.. thank you...

but my room .. oh man... my stuff is wet all around.. 3 days raining all night made my house leaking and i've just reliazed that in the morning.. finding my books, my magazines wet... bah!!! bah!!!... and now my room so smelly, stinks... wah need refreshment here...
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i'm playing need for speed underground 2 again.. i try to finished it as soon as possible.. last night is my second night playing this game and i almost finished the third town... we... i wonder if i could finished it tonight wow .. new record... but still i can not beat my team leader... wah.. how the hell he become soo skillfull and though.. grrrrr!!! i can beat u.. i will beat u.... i must beat u .... GGGGRRRRRR!!!!!!



Monday, January 17, 2005

New Cell Group hohohoh....

i'm so excited today... very early morning at office.. 7:30 am.. me, gavin, vera, and yenny start our frist new office cell group. we will do this every monday morning... we will encourage each other.. if any of them got a probelm, specially at the office... well first time not always great time, but i'm so greatfull that we can commit to this meeting... coz honnestly.. i do need this community... i do...

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Healing Crusade - Dr.Peter Youngren

more than 1000 people come and wish to see miracle happend in PRJ Kemayoran yesterday...
Its a very busy day..... being counselor is not easy lah... i pray to one who paralyzed for long time and a man woh had stroke, but they not healed... hehehe... its okay.... i believe there is a process and i do believe that the spiritual healing already send and working for them.....

once i felt that i can not hel people... i feel down huh.. oh man... even if i know than i'm not the healer i'm just God messenger for this sick people... and still only God Him self is the healer.... every miracle that happens just an extra... the point that we must do is to bring "The Good News". to tell people what has Jesus done for them on that cross..... to tell them that they r already healed.... all kind of their sickness already healed on that cross.... that is the real point of our life that we should do... not christianity, but Jesus, "The Good News" for all man kind.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

NEW SKINS....

Finally i found the skins that i wanted most.... hohohoho thanx to sixseven... i wonder if u have the same taste and style like me... huheuheheheue... peace bro... whereever u r.. whoever u are... friends man... hehehehhee

Monday, January 10, 2005

My Super Grandma +D

WOW..... ages can't stop people to keep stronger.... hehehe i have the strongest granma in the world, well at least in my house... she just broke my door key into 2 pieces with one strike..... WOW...
it scares me bro... hehhe.. but i'm very proud of my grand ma... good... good...good....
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Last weekend i spend all of my days most just sit and listening to my grandma talking to her self... well sometimes she ask me somethin... hehehe i like doing that...... she is much more cute hihihhi =D more old, more cute (makin tua makin lucu) +D hueheheehe....

i love her ya know.... from the whole my family i love her the most..... i wonder when is grandmother day?! well there is mother day, there is father day, when is grandmother day, grandfather day?! i think they much more deserve to have that credit...... hmmmm..... =D

Friday, January 07, 2005

NOT MORE, NOT LESS, JUST DO IT AND GIVE YOUR BEST!!!!!!!!! WooOOooHhooOOooOOoooOO......Yeahhhhhh !!!!!


Psalms 37:3-11
"Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil. For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth. For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be. But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace."

He spoke to me not to leave what He has planned for my life... I know I will not leaving from my ministries, what I have found... this path is the best path of my life... but I just feel that its so heavy. Like what my friend feel he know what to do but he can't stand the process... I can feel that bro... you’r not on your own way... hehehe ...

Ok I will fight... I will rise up again no matter what will happened ...


NOT MORE, NOT LESS, JUST DO IT AND GIVE YOUR BEST!!!!!!!!! WooOOooHhooOOooOOoooOO ...... Yeahhhhhh !!!!!
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today is my friend last day... very shocking news... she said that she will leave next month, but I think she can't handle it anymore so she quitting today... wah ... This news shocks many of our staff, coz she is quite close to us... bye jozzz... I'm sure we will meet at different ways, place, and life ......

Thursday, January 06, 2005

my best time with God everyday....

i really like having intimacy with GOD when I’m driving my car alone. with music, sing a song, I really really felt that He is so close to me… this is my best way to have good conversation with Him. This is my best way to praise and worship Him, give my thanks all the time. Until now I can’t find other way than this… since I don’t drive anymore coz my car was sold, My father need the mony to pay sometin, I can’t have my intimacy again as close as what I have when I still hav my car… I know sometin that this situation is not good. I need to find other way, I can’t just depend on car. If I want to get more intimacy with GOD I need to get new car so I can enjoy praise and worship Him while I’m driving… no no no… I know that it’s wrong… I believe that GOD wants me not to depend on something in order to worship Him only, coz He is GOD. I can’t give Him such a boundaries that makes what he has planed for my life limited… no no.. its wrong too.. I know that. The problem is, now I still can’t have the same intimacy as like as what I get earlier, even I already try many other ways… I did, I try many ways… but still can’t satisfy me. I want more, more that what I have long time ago, more… more and more… to be more closer to Him. His presence, His love, His mercy, His passion, anything… I want more… I need more…

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

???????????

UNWORTHY!!!! SELFPITY!!!! SELFISH!!!

I can’t found any suitable words again to describe about myself… I really… really felt that I’m so… so… arghhhhhhh….. I dun know… I’m so speechless now… [ranting.gif] uh.. sometimes I really hate myself… sigh…

One of my friend will resign next month… oh so sad… [sad.gif].. hiks… things will never be same without you anymore… bye friend… hiks…

Saturday, January 01, 2005

New Year Reflection

Dan 2:1-49

I try to see this year reflection. What has happened in the year 2004, and I see that all become blur, all except the Tsunami tragedy. Because I see that this event is the greatest event that ever happened in 2004 and it takes whole world intention. That’s why this is the most sadness new year eve.. for me …

I spend my New Year eve alone in my room, sit still before Him and read the bible. I try to seek what is God’s will in that tragedy. I believe all happened for a reason, everything that happened in my life, anybody life, every events in the world…. ALL HAPPENED FOR A REASON… that’s what I try to look for… why?? Why??

Then I read at Daniel 2… its about King Nebukadnezar dream. And the meaning of that dream that surprised me… Daniel give an explanation of the king’s dream… in this chapter Daniel said that there is a statue of king it self made by 5 kinds of materials, gold, silver, bronze, metal and soil. but still even if the materials are so perfect, so great still this kingdom is not a perfect kingdom, every materials have their own weakness. soo the conclusion is like this… no matter how great and huge is the kingdom that human being made… still it can’t defeat GOD’s kingdom…

What I believe is that He wants to make us understand that we r nothing before Him, we are just a dust… nothing… He can crush us in a matter of seconds… what I see is that this world become too arrogant and the ego is way too high and He doesn’t like that… that’s why He let this disaster happen so that every people can look for Him and ask for His mercy again…

My friend said that there is no safe place in this world. and its true… there is no other place safer than His presence…