FASTINGGGG....

1 john 1:1-10

I remained again to come before Him and pour out everything that I felt and I been through. My pain, confessing my sin and ask His forgiveness. And for a million times, I don’t know how many I already do that, well I do it again... and I feel different, I don’t know… I just feel something different. One thing I’m sure that I’m glad, it makes me feels better.

I’ve been thinking also that sometimes I felt as a man I am very week. I felt that I don’t deserve to be a man, especially man of GOD. I get often demand Him why He doesn’t create me as something else, another person, anything.

Being phlegmatic person not fully fun ya know… I realized that I need to change it, at least I can become more caring to someone else. The positive thing to become a phlegmatic person is u will never feel alone, because u like to be alone, far from any crowd and noise he he… but that is not entirely last forever coz sometimes I feel lonely, I need someone to share my life with, and for now I have my best friends and my family. May be that’s why I need to get married he he …

The most I hate being phlegmatic is when I get too excited with myself I’ll forget anything that happens around me. Including ignoring my friends trouble, my family trouble, any disaster that happening like earthquake disaster at samudera hindia recently, mmmm 2 days ago I think… well no wonder people get negative impression about me that I am an “arrogant”, “careless”, “introvert”, “weird”, “unpredictable”, what else.. u name it…

I like to be myself, because that is what people always told me “BE YOUR SELF”, well it’s good, but it’s not enough. Being my self is not my goal, I know that I need to change my character; my goal is to have Christ’s character. That is what Christianity all about, when Christ live in u then let Him express Himself in u, so people don’t see u anymore but they see Christ in your life…